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He finally says in a venerable voice "bruh i ain't had no love in my life i'm loving you the best way i can, i'm not normal so i don't love like normal people do, i'm not perfect but think of all the shit i do for you and us, i show you i love you everyday" i said "Jay, you love me?" he said "why the fuck you think i'm here with you bruh, you the only person in this world that give a fuck about me, i don't know how to love yet but, i am who i am you just got to believe me, i don't mean the things i say or do i'm just fucked up inside, dude you know this shit how many time do i have to tell you this". A huge cloud of guilt covered me i felt bad for Jay, especially now that he has told me he loved me i was speechless. I told him i loved him too, we turned toward each other and looked into each other's eyes. I saw the hurt in his eyes, Jay has never felt loved or wanted, i wanted to show him that i loved him and wanted him, i wanted to heal his pain. We kissed and undressed. He laid on. And then I tried going to sleep, but I could not. I kept thinking about the woman in the video, her moans and how she gave herself to sucking cock and being overpowered by her two lovers. I really could not go to sleep and realized that I was imagining myself as the woman in the video. A lightbulb instantly went off in my head and I called my new friend from the video store and asked him point blank if he would fuck me in the ass. He enthusiastically said yes and told me to come over.I still remember the anticipation I felt as I walked to his place. I knew this was going to be a bold move and I wondered how it would feel? When I arrived at his place - I explained what I was feeling and he understood. We moved to his bedroom and removed our clothes. This was the early 90's and the aids scare was still prominent, so I began by sucking his cock with a condom on. I kept asking him if I was doing it correctly and he stated that I was doing fine. I must have been because he was.
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